You just got a positive result on a pregnancy test. Whether you were told by a doctor or were sitting on a bathroom floor staring at a plastic stick that you’d just wee’d on, this has moved from a worry to a fact. So what do you do now?
First, it’s okay to not know what you want to do. Give yourself a little time to let this info sink in. Its okay to freak out, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be numb, it’s even okay to be happy – that’s part of the whole motherhood deal.
You need info. There are timings that you can’t change and the more info you have about how many weeks pregnant you are, the more options you can have available to you. If you already know that you want an abortion then act quickly, the sooner you talk to a doctor, the better. If you don’t know if you want to have the baby then you still need to know how many weeks pregnant you are so you can figure out what dates you need to have made a decision by.
It’s actually too much to even think about. Like, I don’t know where to start. I haven’t told the dad yet. What am I supposed to do?
Take this part seriously, it’s not just a decision about having a baby, it’s about raising a human for the rest of your life. You can be a teenage mum and still end up doing that job you’ve always planned on getting, or still travel and see rather world, but it will be more difficult. You will have to work harder than everyone else and be much more determined.
If you know that you are going to have the baby then you need to get started with doctors appointments. You will need to think about telling people, the dad, your parents, your close friends. This isn’t time to turn your life into the Jeremy Kyle show, make it a thoughtful decision and not a dramatic revelation. Other people will want to gossip and talk crap about you, that is a fact you will have to get used to. You cannot fight them all, but you can spend every day proving them wrong. Again and again, their crap is for them to deal with, you focus on yourself.
I told someone I thought I could trust and she told everyone. Now I have to deal with everyone knowing when I haven’t told my mum yet.
This is probably the biggest thing you’ve ever had to deal with. You don’t need to have all the answers straight away but try to find a supportive person who can give you some honest talks. If you’re not ready to talk to friends or family then call one of the helplines who will allow you to stay anonymous, won’t judge you and will give you straight and unbiased info.