Why are my parents so mad about the pregnancy?

You were finally brave enough to tell your parents that you’re pregnant. You didn’t expect them to celebrate but they seem really, really angry.

Parenting is very complex. Pretty much all parents would like to be perfect and are just trying to get it right as often as they can. But its rare that there is a perfect response to this and you must admit that this kind of news is, at best, a shock.

They’re probably worried, shocked and concerned. This not only takes some getting used to but it is probably a more challenging and difficult route than they would choose for you.

It might make them confront the fact that they don’t know you as well as they thought they did. We’re all very good at protecting people from sides of us that they might not like and parents can be particularly keen to believe in a version of you that makes them feel better. If they have strong religious or social beliefs then changing a lifetime of solidly-held views is going to take time and effort.

They might be self-conscious and worry about people judging them and their parenting. Maybe they feel some guilt that they did something wrong and it’s all their fault. All of these are for them to work through. You can’t force them to change their feelings but you can be honest with them and let them know if you need them to talk with, listen to, or support you.

Try to be patient with them and if they’ve reacted very badly then give them time. You need to be in a safe and supportive place so let them know this. Help them to see that you still need them and love them.

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